The Ruthlessness of Unconditional Love

13522628_10208808712551859_1402923913_nLove brings a lust for life, puts joy in our steps and a smile on our faces. We crave it, want it and must have it. We will do just about anything for love. Studies have shown that loving relationships promote healthier, happier, and longer lives, be it with our pets, plants, or others.

So Life inevitably presents each of us with lessons in love. How we embrace, integrate, and move through these challenges propels us into a state of expansion and freedom or restriction and fear.

I have learned a lesson or two from love. After the untimely and tragic death of my husband I learned that love will not be conditional. Love will accept the beloved in all of its perceived flaws because love sees through the mask to the profound pain that lies beneath. I learned that life is unpredictable and ephemeral. One cannot contain love or store it up. Love must be ravenously consumed in every present moment.

From the affairs that did not go in the direction I desired, I learned to love without the need for expectations. To love while letting go. Life is forever transmuting and evolving. Nothing stays the same as we are pushed and pulled by our demons and desires.

From relationships that left me feeling empty and less than, that tore my heart to shreds, I learned to be clear with myself about what I could not accept. I learned that what I must express is intimacy, passion, sensuality, and honesty.

From the relationships that sought to contain and define me I learned the lesson that lies at the core of all else. To love myself totally and completely in all of my raw and open vulnerability with a ruthless and unconditional fierceness that has no part in fear, that does not barter in restriction or limitation, but seeks only to be the fullest expression of love that it can possibly be.

 

 

 

 

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Deep Truth and the Not so New model of Reality

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Who am I, where did I come from, and what is my purpose? These are the questions that have driven the collective consciousness of humanity since the dawn of time.

So when we see a world in chaos, careening towards self- destruction and wonder, “how did we get here?” look to the answers that we have accepted to these eternal questions. These answers have determined every aspect of our lives, from our concept of self, our mental patterns, behaviors and relationships, to our institutions and culture.

For millennia, our indigenous ancestors knew the answers to these questions by direct Gnosis. They knew that our genetic blueprint is descended from the stars, and that we are tightly woven into the infinite web of life that always has been, and always will be.

This web is consciousness and it connects everything throughout all time and space. Our ancestors understood that we are here on earth to evolve in mutual cooperation with all beings and to be stewards of this planet. This is our spiritual heritage.

Then some two thousand years ago patriarchy erupted in the guise of the Judea-Christian-Islam Abrahamic religions. Spirituality and Gnosis became warped into religious dogma by the suppression and denial of the Feminine aspect of Divinity.

By suppressing the Divine Feminine, the doctrine of separation became firmly established. We were forced into separation from each other as male and female, from our own bodies, our world, the cosmos, and our Divinity. This doctrine enslaved humanity and brought us to our knees.

As humanity struggled to overcome the shackles of insane religious dogma, the scientific revolution emerged in the seventeenth century. This movement gradually morphed into Scientific Materialism, however, which unwittingly colluded with, and cemented the unholy doctrine of separation.

Sir Isaac Newton’s outline of the laws of classical mechanics were taken to the fallacious conclusion that what we are, and what we see, are no more than a collection of clockwork mechanisms devoid of life or innate consciousness.

The Darwinian model of the workings of evolution asserted life to be the result of a series of random mutations of inert chemical constituents. It was thereby concluded that humanity is an accident, our lives do not matter and there is no purpose to it all. Evolution became a matter of survival of the fittest in a perpetual struggle against nature, our selves, and every other species on the planet.

Modern biologic science bought the fallacious model of evolution that Darwin proposed and proceeded to perpetuate the myth. By studying the human genome it was announced that our genes control us. We are the victims of our biology, which then makes our bodies the perpetrators of a war against ourselves.

These philosophies extrapolated from science are the license to rape and strip the natural world. Natural disasters have resulted in 5 mass extinctions in the history of this planet. It is now well documented that we are currently in the midst of the 6th mass extinction of all species on earth, this time the cause is human activity.

Those who have been able to release the death grip of religious dogma, worship on the altar of the Almighty dollar. In this materialistic world where only matter matters, the 1% who hoard the greatest amount of material gain are the ones who really matter, while the rest of us are the losers in this game of monopoly.

In this age, despite what we may say or do, deep down in our heart of hearts we all feel abandoned and betrayed by Source and ashamed of our humanity. How do we find a way out? What hope can we offer our children as they flounder looking for truth, finding nothing but worn out paradigms and collapsing institutions amid rampant greed and destruction?

We open our eyes and our hearts and know truth. We now have a not so new model of reality that rests on the foundation of the new science of the 20th century, Quantum mechanics. This new paradigm has come full circle and brought what was once thought to be mystical and magical into the realm of science.

Quantum physics has verified and corroborated what our ancestors knew to be true. Reality is a unified field of energy, which at its most basic level is pure consciousness expressing itself as light in the myriad forms of creation. We ourselves determine what we experience by our attention and focus.

Epigenetics, the new biology pioneered by Bruce Lipton Ph.D, at Stanford University, shows that genes are not the ultimate determinants of our biology. The expression of our DNA rests upon both internal and external stressors upon the cellular structures within our bodies.

That is it in a nutshell. We are not what we have been told and much more than we could ever imagine.

So how do we stop creating a world that none of us really wants or desires? We develop the courage to look fearlessly at where we are and see that there is no them versus us.

We have all been duped by the great lie of separation, and we are all guilty of crimes against ourselves, and the natural world. We dive into the dark night of the soul both individually and collectively and allow our hearts to be broken wide open.

We accept as sacred truth the knowing of the answers to the questions of existence that we hold deep in the core of our being-ness. We are divine source consciousness, unfolding as Love, forever expressing itself in novelty so that It may know Itself in all of It’s splendor. We understand what mystics throughout the ages have known. We are the Beloved of the One we yearn to return to.

Those of us who know these truths to be self -evident have become exhausted with witnessing the ignorance, horror, and injustice that we see everywhere present. We know that all of us must awaken to truth or we will all perish. Evolution is based on cooperation in community. We are now being called to evolve collectively, each human a cell in the body of humanity.

In order to survive as a species we must first become kind, generous, and accepting of ourselves. We declare a ceasefire and desist from acts of war and terrorism against our humanity. We commit ourselves to fight peacefully for justice, truth, and harmony where there is none. We move in the deep abiding compassion that lives within us.

We merge the mystic with the activist by getting out of our meditation chairs and allow our lives to be an act of love in each moment. We are the last Avatars to anchor the Beloved back into the heart and soul of humanity.

What is your role as sacred activist? Look within and feel the point of your deepest pain. What causes you to rage in anger and frustration? This is your mission. Be the change that you want to see in the world. In each moment, see, and evaluate everything through the eyes of Love because that is what you BE.

 

 

 

 

Words, words, words, and the Mystery of the Sphinx

SphinxI had been laboring over the writing of a blog post, trying to get my point across and was not very happy with the result. If only I could find the right words and place them in the right configuration I would be heard, and the truth would be recognized!

I struggled, even though I was well aware that no matter how logical or persuasive one’s arguments may be, they do not have the ability to change the beliefs of another, they are just more words being thrown about.

We only change our beliefs and the structures they uphold when we encounter an experience outside of our normal frame of reference that cannot be explained away no matter how much we try to cling to that which is being shattered.

I knew from experience that I should stop writing and do something completely different to give my operating systems a chance to reboot. I decided to be bold and take a breather with some acid.

I had taken that piece of dried mango laced with LSD across the Atlantic and back and still had not felt that I had the right time and frame of mind to indulge in the hope of a consciousness expanding experience.

In my prior experimental forays I never seemed to attain the experience that I sought. I reasoned whether I could endure 24 hours with every cell in my body racing like a Lamborghini on the Autobahn for another disappointing experience of poor quality LSD.

Today I felt compelled to give it a go. We were within the auspices of the full moon, Mercury was just stationed direct out of retrograde, and it was Sunday, yeah, no schedules, certainly an opportune time.

So I munched with determination on that piece of dried mango and waited. I was not alone, however, and the hours went by while we frolicked. After some time hunger overtook my companion and off he went for Chinese take out. I finally had a moment of quiet contemplation.

I reclined on the couch and gently gazed at my arm. It seemed immense and heavy as stone. I could not lift it. I felt myself to be in a vast structure, a holy place that contained me. I did not feel trapped, only amazed at the solidity of it all. I felt serene and noble like the great Sphinx of Egypt.

The moment passed but the experience registered. This was the mystery of the Sphinx, the miracle of spirit descended into the density of matter. We have all heard the cliché “the body is a temple for spirit” but who has really had the experience of that knowing.

Until we open to the experiential reality of life in all of its gut wrenching, awe-full-ness, and its raw, immense beauty arguments are all just words being bandied about, ” full of sound and fury, signifying nothing” but still I have to get back to those words, words, words.

 

Quotation from Shakespeare’s- Macbeth

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Revel in your Humanity

freeimage-14773391-highA friend of mine calls Face-Book, face-crack, as in highly addictive substance. When I first heard him use the term I laughed and admitted that FB is indeed compelling even though I use it mainly as a marketing tool. A chord was struck however, as I realized the truth of that statement. Social media can be the perfect distraction from the profound emptiness we feel within. It is indeed a quick fix for the isolation, fragmentation and disconnect that has wounded us on the deepest, and most profound levels of our being.

What is the root cause of this intense suffering? Why do we feel emotionally isolated from the rest of the planet and more importantly from ourselves? We feel a numbness that separates us from the joy and satisfaction that we desire for our lives. We are fragmented because we must constantly expend energy to ignore the elephant in the room, our own sense of despair and dread.

We use social media to placate the intense alone-ness that we feel deep in our bones, however, just like any drug the effects do not last and we need another fix again and again and it is never, ever as good as the first time.

On social media we feel safe to share the bits and pieces of ourselves that are acceptable. We hide the desires and feelings that we cannot face because of guilt and shame created by a morality that has been forced upon us by institutions we did not ourselves create and which we know to be false to our true and authentic selves.

Our religious institutions have told us that our humanity is something to be eschewed. We are less than god, less than angels, less than priests and only slightly above animals. This false idea is reinforced as television, magazines, and billboards show us how our Selves are broken. We need at any cost this deodorant, this makeup, this car, to fix our brokenness so that we can be acceptable and “better than” what we already are.

According to John Lamb Lash, “The suppression of ecstasy and condemnation of pleasure by patriarchal religion have left us in a deep, festering morass.” Our humanity, however, is our core biologic necessity and can only be ignored and suppressed to our own detriment. We see our instinctual imperative erupting in the pathologically warped expressions of rampant pornography, the objectification of women, sexual slavery, sexual abuse of children in religious institutions, and rape and violence towards women.

Not only have the religious institutions backed up by social conditioning forced us to dissociate from our own bodies and senses it has forced us to dissociate from the natural world. Nature is feared and reviled for its rampant fecundity and association with the Divine Feminine. Our human body and instincts have been bound together with the feminine principle as something that is venal and evil and to be feared and suppressed no matter the damage it causes to our health and psyche.

The entire planet has been brought under the dominion of a god that hates humanity, the natural world, and trees. When the god of the Abrahamic religions appeared over two thousand years ago, the Divine Feminine principle as the Goddess, who was worshiped as nature, and among the trees was brutally suppressed.

Yahweh demanded in Deutoronomy 12:2-5 “Destroy completely all the places on the high mountains and on the hills and under every spreading tree where the nations you are dispossessing worship their gods.” Later in history, the Druids, keepers of Gnosis were murdered and hung from their sacred and beloved trees. We see this intense religious hatred of nature reflected in modern times in the scathing label of “tree hugger”.

And so we have become dissociated from the Natural world of which we are one part. We have been commanded to subdue, dominate and consume an entire planet and everything that exists on it. We now rely on simulation, artifice, artificial intelligence, and manufactured sustenance. We raise our children in concrete jungles, imprisoned in apartments with computers and social media as substitutes for direct and genuine human interactions.

And so we have lost our empathy for one another. We have lost our connection to the living planet that birthed us into being. We no longer care for our lost freedom of choice and conscious creation. We no longer have a clue as to our own authentic, instinctual nature because we were forced to abandon ourselves.

How do we correct this crime against nature and humanity? We accept that we are whole, perfect and complete just as we are. There is none above or below us to save or condemn. We celebrate and enjoy our bodies and our senses, knowing that this is our salvation. We allow our desires to bring fulfillment and creativity to our existence and we revel in the bliss of LIFE.

Source: John Lamb Lash, “Not in His Image”2006 Chelsea Green Publishing

 

 

 

 

The Creation of a Healthy, Joyous life

For better or worse, I glean my sense of self worth from being of service, hence my choice to become a medical Doctor. It soon became obvious, however, that within the paradigm of current medical science there is no cure for the chronic diseases that affect us.

What we are offered is a plethora of pills that maintain us in an persistent state of illness.This unrelenting chronicity was unacceptable so I chose to specialize in General Surgery. Here, I could make a real difference rather than be a manager of disease.

Even though General Surgery was rewarding and empowering, it was obvious that lifestyle changes can prevent and often cure most illnesses.  Diet, exercise, and mental health practices are the corner stones of a Holistic approach to maintaining health rather than curing disease, so holistic health advice, and counseling became integral to my practice.

The next insight came quickly. Lifestyle changes make a huge impact on illness and disease but there is a deeper core of truth that most of us do not see or want to address.  Our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs create the reality of our lives completely and totally.

This core aspect of health was not taught to me in Medical School. I came to this understanding through a constant and persistent search for truth, meaning, and healing in my own life.

Quantum Science has proven through direct experimentation that everything in existence both animate and inanimate is a form of energy in a spectrum of frequency and vibration. We create our lives using this energy by the focus of our attention and consciousness. For an easy to understand explanation of the laws of Quantum see Dr. Manur Samanta-Laughton’s book, “Punk Science..”http://ww.amazon.com/Punk-Science-Inside-Mind-God/dp/1905047932/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458926251&sr=1-1&keywords=punk+science

The field of Epigenetics emerged from the pioneering work of Bruce Lipton Phd. with stem cells at Stanford University.  His experiments proved that genomic DNA is not the sole arbiter of our biology. Rather, the expression of DNA is modulated by our feelings, emotions and beliefs regarding ourselves and our place in the world, whether we feel safe and expansive or threatened and contracted.

This work is summarized in  “The Biology of Belief”.ww.amazon.com/Biology-Belief-Unleashing-Consciousness-Miracles/dp/1401923127/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458925559&sr=1-1&keywords=bruce+liptonhttp://ww.amazon.com/Biology-Belief-Unleashing-Consciousness-Miracles/dp/1401923127/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458925559&sr=1-1&keywords=bruce+lipton

Energy medicine taught me that unexpressed emotion, (energy in motion) becomes locked into the cellular structure of the body as the amorphous feeling of stress. We now know that stress is the leading cause of chronic illness such as heart disease, asthma, fibromyalgia and a host of other chronic conditions. https://www.cmu.edu/news/archive/2007/October/oct10_cohenjama.shtml

So here are the keys to optimal health and personal fulfillment.

  • Beliefs create thoughts.
  • Thoughts create emotions.
  • Emotions create either positive expansive feelings such as love, peace and joy or negative contracted feelings such as fear, restriction and resistance.

Beliefs are the software that directs the hard drive of our brain computers to produce thoughts. These thoughts elicit an emotional response that produces a vibration and frequency within our body and energy fields. This resonant frequency becomes magnetic to, and attracts the circumstances and reality of that belief. Belief creates reality.

 

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These are the keys to empowerment. We may choose to consciously create what we want and desire or unconsciously create by default what we do not want.

Where do our beliefs come from? Surprisingly most are not our own.. In the hypnogogic state of childhood we download everything that we are told, see, hear, and experience into the hard drive of our brains which then forms the foundation of our beliefs. Unfortunately most are untrue and dis-empowering.

The over riding purveyor of beliefs about the nature of reality and our place in it comes from religion. We are told that we are born in sin. We are not good enough, our humanity is something to be eschewed and we need salvation so that we may escape from it.

These beliefs create within us the energy of fear, restriction, and self loathing which leads to stress, sickness and disease.  Collectively, humanity is caught in the grip of self-annihilation, and planetary destruction.

So how do we consciously create health, well-being, and the life that we desire and deserve. We examine every thought that comes into our minds which is usually a recurring theme of “not good enough” repeated thousands of times per hour.

We examine our emotions, are they expansive and joyous or contractive, and despairing. Then we examine the underlying beliefs that were fed to us and see them for the gross errors that they are.

So pause, take a good deep breath, and focus on the love, and joy, that is within you and all around you. Step into the healthy, creative life that you desire and deserve, that is available in each and every moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The breaking point that initiated my Soul’s Evolution

I was a practicing general surgeon, a Fellow of the American College of Surgeons, just returned from a College conference. I stood with beer in hand at the edge of a concrete slab that my husband was constructing to extend the deck of our home.

It was evening and as I looked at the lights shining in the windows, I ruminated. I had placed myself on surgical call the very next day after my return and I thought to myself, “Cheryl why don’t you ever give yourself a break?”

With that thought I unconsciously took a step backwards into thin air. In my mind’s eye I saw the fall in slow motion as I landed on my left side on a stone wall and felt my ribs crack and break.

I crawled back to the house and was taken to the hospital’s emergency room. After XR confirmed that the three broken ribs on my left side had not punctured my lung, I insisted on going home.

I was forced to lay on my back in bed while my ribs healed and of course immediately started to anticipate how soon I could get back to work. I figured two to three weeks tops.

During those interminable hours in bed I also started to muse. Why did this event occur? I was an only child, who never did anything risky, no accidents, never a broken bone. This accident had to be deeply meaningful.

It finally began to dawn upon me that my life was severely out of balance. I had chosen to become a general surgeon to prove to myself and everybody else that I was “good enough, smart enough and brave enough” to justify my existence.

I chose the most male dominated career that I could conceive of doing because I wanted to be aligned with the ones who held the power in this world. I would not stand with the weak and powerless, the feminine.

True to type I was back at work in three weeks, driving myself relentlessly but I also started a quest to discover the disowned and rejected parts of myself.

I read Carl Gustav Jung and was intrigued by his ideas of archetypes and the collective consciousness and the role of symbols in the unconscious mind. I followed the work of his students as they delved deep into the archetype of the Divine Feminine. I looked at cultures where the feminine was still honored, in Hinduism, and other indigenous belief systems.

As the years passed I came to realize that my need to prove myself worthy of existing started in the womb of my mother. I was born into a fundamental religious family. My mother, the last of 16 children conceived me out of wedlock to a lover who abandoned her and so I was formed in a womb of shame, guilt, and “not good enough.”

I came to see that the world in which I was born had been invaded by the Patriarchal Judeo-Christian-Muslim religion that is based on the great Lie and deception of Original Sin and the need for Redemption.

This doctrine had enslaved humanity for the past two thousand years by the most brutal means possible, torture, murder, and mind control. It became apparent to me that this ‘God” was not the supreme creator but a ruthless madman aimed at destroying humanity and the world through the suppression, dis-empowerment and exile of the Divine Feminine.

 

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Twelve years after that fateful accident still immersed in my career, doing what was expected, my husband was diagnosed with end stage cancer. I quit my job to be at his side. He died a year and a half later. This was not supposed to happen. This was not to be my life, yet it was.

I went into retreat to heal my soul and again to find the answer to why? Two years later I was introduced to John Lamb Lash’s work, “Not in his Image”. It took almost a year to get through it but at the end I understood that I had been born for this. I would write a short mythic tale of the Fallen Goddess as told by the Gnostics and as presented by John Lash.

I would help to bring back into the collective consciousness of humanity another story to usher in the reemergence of the Divine Feminine to heal our souls and restore sanity to humanity gone mad in a frenzy of self hatred, hell bent on destroying themselves, and the planet, our mother Gaia.

It has been said that your greatest wound is your greatest gift and so it is that I offer my gift to humanity.